It's Been a Decent Week

I can safely say that this week was alright. I haven't really left the house, which is something I really need to work on. But I did have company one night and that was really nice. I have been on top of working out and cleaning all week, so I have been getting the things done that I have needed to do. The only thing I really need to stop putting off is going to the school. It will get me in the end if I don't go and my education is my number one priority right now. I just need to make sure my tuition is on hold until my financial aid comes through, or get a short term loan. It's really just a matter of convincing myself that I can and should leave my house.

I don't know what my deal is with getting out of the house. Sometimes I think that I might have some form of agoraphobia. I get very anxious when I think about leaving. It makes me nervous and afraid. As a result, there are times when I go weeks without leaving. This contributes vastly to my depression. When I finally do get out, I feel instantly better. It feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I never used to be afraid of the world and I don't know what is causing it now, but I do know that is a major factor in everything that I am dealing with right now.

The fear and difficulty leaving the house is something that I really need to work on. I think that if I could get better about getting out, my depression would become less severe almost immediately. Part of the problem is that I don't get invited by anyone to go anywhere anymore, so the only way I get interaction is to invite people over here. I really don't know where I could go by myself. Especially with winter coming it will be hard to get out if I am trying to go out by myself. I really want to make it a goal to get out twice a week and go play somewhere or do something. I just really need some ideas on where to go and what to do since I will be rollin' solo. Next week, I promise myself, I will get out twice. I might even start tomorrow since the husband will be off of work.

Tonight should be a pretty relaxing start to a good weekend. Once Dave gets off tonight he doesn't have to report back to work until Tuesday at 3 p.m. He has a long weekend due to the holiday and I am really happy about it. Today was my day off from working out so I just need to pick up toys, run the vacuum, and shower. Then I plan to watch Project Runway and read. I'm planning to keep up with my workouts all weekend and not slack off and would like to go take a walk or go to the park if the weather permits. We also have a movie that we have been wanting to watch together, so it has been sitting there for two weeks waiting for us to have the time. We shall see how it goes. Here's lookin' forward to improvement.