Getting Back to Business

I had a horrible few weeks. I got sick, really sick, and that caused my depression to become overwhelming. I was literally a zombie for the past few weeks but I am happy to say that I have finally begun to snap out of it. The worst part of the way that I was feeling was that I had horrible, horrendous fatigue. I was sleeping about 18 hours out of the day. Whenever I could be asleep, I was. I attributed it to the depression and the illness combined and I simply thought that I was once again giving my depression a foothold. However, this week that all changed.

I found out that my husband and I are expecting! We are absolutely thrilled to be adding to our family, as we always knew that we weren't done yet. But more than that, I was relieved beyond words to know that the fatigue was not my fault. I wasn't giving in to illness and depression. Fatigue is a very common symptom of early pregnancy. While I do concede that I might be a bit more prone to it and that I might be a little more prone to allowing it to go too far, it was like being reborn to find out that I had not just been a depressed mess for that whole time. I had thought that I was failing at my goals when I really was not.

So now it is onward and upward. I get to start planning a home birth and will be meeting with a midwife next week. I am really hoping that she is a suitable fit as she is the only one anywhere near me. After I meet with her, I am going to start looking for a doula. We were wise enough to save most of the baby gear that we need so over the next 8 months I am going to start slowly purchasing the few things that we will need for the new addition. We have already been diligently debating names.

I spent a lot of time in bed over the past few weeks and I really had some time to reflect. There are some new things that I will be addressing in the coming weeks. Things that I think I just need to put out there so that I can move away from them. The past couple of days I have been feeling much much better than I have in over a month. I am optimistically looking forward to getting fatter and to moving soon to a new command.

I had to make one very difficult decision that I definitely think is for the best. I am not attending school this quarter. It will be January before I am enrolled again and I will be enrolled through a college in my home state. As far as my credits, graduation, and degree plans go this is the best thing I can possibly be doing. If I go this route, I will lose less credits in the transfer process and I will be able to graduate more quickly. I will also have an easier and more clear cut means of pursuing my history degree. I am pretty bummed because I was looking forward to the fall quarter. I missed school over the summer and I was anxious to get back to work. But I really feel that I have made the optimal decision. I just wish that I had looked into everything before the fall semester back home began. Had I been a bit more proactive, I could be enrolled right now.

I plan on getting back into writing here and hope to be back to posting daily. I hope that there will be some positive and interesting reading to come in the next month.