New World

My husband separated from the Navy about two weeks ago. He did this voluntarily. We both hold bachelor's degrees. Two months before he separated, my children and I moved to our final destination so that I could start to look for a job, which I have been doing since our arrival.

Today is December 4th and I still don't have a job. This is depressing in its own right, especially since I have applied for such a wide range of things. We have no income except for unemployment, which hasn't started yet. We had to apply for food stamps and I have contacted local organizations about getting Christmas presents for my kids.

Last night, we were out of food and our food stamps didn't hit our account until six p.m. One of my friends ordered and sent us a pizza so that we could eat before 10 p.m. Today, one of my friends found out that we didn't have money for Christmas gifts so she gave me a gift card to Sears that she had so that I could buy a couple of things for my kids. She also sent me an old cell phone because mine is broken and we can't afford to buy a new one. The food stamp case worker pushed our food stamps through on the first day when she heard our circumstances.

I am awestricken by how awesome people are. None of those people had to do those things and they did them. They didn't even seem to mind, which makes them even more awesome. On top of that, I am extremely grateful that these programs are available to me and my family. We would literally have no food if it wasn't for food stamps. Had they not gone through, we would have had to go to a food bank. I am so grateful that there are organizations that donate toys to kids who wouldn't get much of a Christmas without them.


I can't believe that my family is in this place. I never thought I would be calling charitable organizations asking what kinds of outreach they do because I needed them for my family. This is a world that I never imagined myself being a part of. As I watch my son's school uniform get smaller and don't see my job prospects getting larger, I find myself wondering if there are organizations that donate such things or if I am going to have to hope that I strike gold at the thrift stores.

This is a new world to me and I find that it fills me with mixed emotions. I feel gratitude, shame, embarrassment, stress, appreciation, hope, and sadness. I have never been here before and I hope that I am never here again. I also hope that I am not here for long. This is a world that no one should have to live in, however this is a world that will make you feel differently about what you have, had, and hope for. It is also a world that will teach you about yourself and your loved ones.