Regarding the Ownership of Lefty and Righty.

There are very few things in this world that are all mine. I have to share pretty much everything, and that is even more true now that I am a mom. Nothing is my own, everything is ours. I spent a long time thoroughly convinced that my breasts were my own. They are, after all, attached to my body. Three and a half years ago, when Archer was born, I found out that I was wrong.

My breasts belonged to him for twenty six months. He pulled them, pushed them, pinched them, laid on them, held them, snuggled them, and made basically every decision regarding my breasts. He decided if and when they should be whipped out in public for a feeding. He decided the duration of their exposure. The only thing he didn't decide was to name them Lefty and Righty, but that's only because he didn't know how to talk. There is nothing in the world that Archer loved as much as he loved Lefty and Righty. For twenty six long months, he knew that he could count on them to help him out if he was hungry, thirsty, tired, hurt, sick, crabby, or just plain lonely.

Then, as he got older, he fell in love with our dog and began to make friends who were people, rather than breasts. He started seeing less and less of Lefty and Righty. Eventually, he decided to forfeit ownership completely. I was thrilled. After twenty six beautiful months of breastfeeding, I was ecstatic to have my body to myself again. I figured that I would really enjoy actually owning myself for a little while. Imagine my surprise when a mere two weeks after Archer fully weaned, two little pink lines populated a screen in my bathroom.


Once again, I had to forfeit ownership of myself. I knew by then, that I would not regain my body after forty weeks, sure I would have my uterus back, but Lefty and Righty would not be returned to me until the new little fetus decided that he or she was done with them. I also knew that Lefty and Righty were a little bit concerned about being used and then discarded. They hadn't weathered the storm too well the last time. But, they were also excited to have a new little friend that they could count on.

Forty-one weeks later, along came Olwyn. My brown eyed baby boy immediately loved his new friends. He's been with us for six months and he has spent the vast majority of his time building a relationship with Lefty and Righty. He is not even remotely shy about asserting his ownership of his favorite duo. He pinches, pulls, hugs, loves, and cares about his boobies. They are 100% his, and he always likes to be within range of them in case he needs a snack. Lefty and Righty bring him comfort when disaster strikes (getting stepped on by a two legged or four legged sibling is the most common calamity) and they fill his belly morning, noon, and night. He knows that he can always count on the contents to be both nourishing and refreshing.

As for me, I have surrendered. I know that Lefty and Righty were never truly meant to be mine. They were always destined for greater things than a casual relationship with the woman whose chest they call home. If I love Lefty and Righty, I will let them achieve their destiny. They're in their prime now, livin' the dream.