Evolution.

Yesterday was the five year anniversary of the day that The B-Man and I started seeing each other. We spent a very low-key evening at home. We ordered in and watched our shows together and just hung out. Around 7, when I was getting off of the treadmill, I started thinking about how much has changed in the five years since we started our relationship.

Five years ago we were drunk. We were young and we were doing exactly what the majority of people our age were doing. We were partying. The next year, we went to a really fancy dinner and stayed at a hotel for our anniversary. We were young and in love and we wanted to do something special. The year after that, I was pregnant and The B-Man was in Pensacola doing training for his job with the Navy. Last year, the Navy sent him to Key West and he missed our anniversary for that.

This year, we sat in our living room. We were surrounded by toys and the messes that come from having a young family. I ran on the treadmill, we ate dinner, we read bedtime stories and gave baths, and none of it was disappointing. Five years ago, we never thought that this was where we would be. We each thought that the other was attractive. We enjoyed one another's company. We had similar interests.

Now the same holds true. We still like to be together and we still find each other attractive. Now we have even more interests in common, which I think is normal once you have been with someone for a while. I also think that it's normal when you have a family with someone. Clearly we are both interested in our children.

Over the past five years, I have had my share of moments where I began to worry that things were changing too much. I have had fears that maybe we have veered too far from where we started. We used to go out dancing together almost every weekend. Now we are lucky if we get to go dancing a couple of times a year. Those changes scare me sometimes. I'm afraid that The B-Man will get bored and that he'll decide that this isn't the life he wants. Being surrounded by diapers isn't exactly glamorous and it's definitely not sexy.

Every time I have had these moments of fear or worry, I have mentioned it to him. I think that if we are going to make it another five years (and more), it's important that we discuss our fears and apprehensions about our relationship. He's always very good about reassuring me. The B-Man always tells me that he loves me. He loves our life. He likes being married to me and he likes where we have come. My husband loves being a dad. He's good at it and it brings out a good side of him. He tells me that he can't imagine his life without me and the family we have created. I always walk away from these discussions with a good feeling. I walk away feeling loved and appreciated beyond what I feel every day. I think that's amazing because he makes me feel loved every day no matter what.

When I think about it, I think that my doubts are normal and I think it's amazing that he is able to ease my mind so well. I love my husband very much and I can't imagine my life without him. We have a great time together and I would never hesitate to describe my life as "fun." I think it is normal that my fun has changed. I've grown up and so has he. We have evolved from the careless 19 and 22 year-olds who could party until noon the next day. We now enjoy doing things that make our family happy. We have fun watching T.V. together and talking about our shows. Our love hasn't diminished as it has evolved, if anything it has grown.

I've come to the conclusion that I should not be focused on where we are in life. I should only be focused on whether or not we are in the same phase at the same time. I think that as long as we are in the same place, we will enjoy each other and continue to thrive as a couple. I make a conscious decision, every single day, to wake up and love my husband. I wake up every day and remember how lucky I am to have him and how much he makes me laugh and after that I decide that I want to do the same for him.

I know that over the next five years, my relationship will continue to evolve and grow. I will continue to change and so will The B-Man. It is my hope and my plan that we will go through this evolution together. Maybe we will not always be in perfect sync, but I think that if we decide we want to be we can be in the same phase most of the time. I've realized that relationships are about evolution and making the commitment to spend the rest of your life evolving together.