Stepping BACK up.

Prior to becoming pregnant, I had been making a concerned effort to work out and lose weight. Of course, the moment those two little lines appeared, that went right out the window. But now, I am back in the game. I am watching what I eat and I went to the gym tonight. I am pretty sure I am going to make going to the gym our after nap routine every day, Sunday-Thursday. I will take the same days off of the gym as Dave takes from work.

I would really love it if Dave would work out with me, but he doesn't seem to be interested. I spent a long time saying that I was going to wait for Dave, lose weight with Dave, or that I was failing because I was doing it without his support. I know now that I was setting myself up to fail by depending on him. Dave doesn't see anything wrong with his diet, he does not really have the desire to work out, and he is perfectly fine with the way that he looks. I realized that he doesn't do things to sabotage me at all. He does them because they are right for him and he doesn't understand why they aren't right for me. And that's fine. But it does mean that I need to take matters into my own hands. So, to the gym I will go, without him. Declining food I will do, when he cooks it. Order salad I will, when he goes to a fast food joint.

I am truly ready to get back down to a presentable weight. I want to be able to go out and buy jeans. I want to go somewhere and feel like I look good. I want to be happy with myself. My goal is to look like a mega hottie next year at the annual XXX-Mas Party. I want people to be like,"Damn. Dave's wife is a pretty girl." But mostly, I just want to be a mom that my kids can be proud of. I want them to see me as an example of what to be rather than what not to be. And that goes as far as health and fitness as well.